Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile,
and finds in your presence that life is worth while.
So when you are lonely, remember it's true
Somebody somewhere is thinking of you.

- K. Blackburn -

yah right. since when was the world such a nice and sweet place? since when are we suposed to feel optimistic about life? yeah, life might be good sometimes, but it sucks otherwise. when it's bad, its horrendous.

at times, you wonder what wrong with you. life should be good. and then you find a serious flaw. and you'll try to comprehend it. and you might understand it, but you wont be able to change it. you'll feel powerless. but maybe you can, but a certain part refuses todo so. den all the problems start rolling in. you'll start worrying. and you'll wonder what wil happen to you in the future. will you even have the desired future?

you walk around, hiding your true self behind this mask. this happy plasticated mask. but you wonder, what exactly is your true self? you dont really know youself. but what you know is that you'll put a mask, to suit others. you do it for others. and you simply confuse yourself in the end. probem still not solved.

you look into the mirror, and you wonder what is it about yourself that is good. so you start thinking, and then you realise that you cant find an answer. you feel so useless. and it feels that whether or not you're there, it doesnt make a difference. you dont mind being insignificant, but realising that you're useless, in a way, you end up feeling depressed over it. but you still keep that mask. because that's what expected of you. and you realise that your life is just like a play. you direct, you act. and how you do it depends on the audience. whether they liked it or not. and so you do it for them, and not for yourself. and you cant do anything. maybe its because you dont want to do anything. you worry over the closeted fears that exists.

life sucks. what's the point of my existence?